More Writer’s Block
Saturday, June 12th, 2010Paul is at work and everyone else is sleeping. Deep breath. Write, write, write.
I am always trying to capitalize on these moments of silence. I am not in that time and place in which the ideas come in the shower and then linger all day waiting for me to put them down. Instead, I am trying to force the creativity to come in these patchwork moments that I try to collect. Try to sew together.
Sadly, I’ll start a poem or a post or a piece of prose only to be interrupted and then to lose my momentum. So, let’s get through this quickly, shall we. (Should that have been a question mark?)
I started writing a post about pissing my pants on the streets of Italy. It might have been a good post. I don’t know. But, it seemed so mundane. Really.
Here I am again. This same frozen feeling grabbing at my heart. I started writing about me writing about the pissing of my pants and as soon as I felt a sense of direction this ugly halting feeling seized the ideas right from my brain. And, now, again, I’m thinking “I have this insane case of writer’s block! I could write about that!” and my fingers freeze on the keys. I am silenced again.
What gives?
Outside of writing, I am experiencing much of the same issues. I come home and am exhausted beyond belief. I am living a life lately sans motivation.
I don’t think I’m depressed.
I don’t know what it is.
But, you probably don’t want to here about it either. So, here’s my plan:
I am going to get up out of this seat. I am going to put on some music. I am going to sing along and clean my house and get everything all pretty and organized.
Then, if the space presents itself, I’m going to try this again.
I could write about pee pants, or summer, or Silas, or my recent experience jumping off meds and having to get back on, or the tea party that I’m attending this afternoon, or not being able to afford to have another baby (at least right away) and looking at life with a single child, or potty training, or preschool, or, or, or…
Anyhow, until then. Thanks for the support.