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First let me take back my last post’s comments about my child.  He really is an awfully good kid.  But, he was having a heck of a 45 minute screaming, throwing, banging, pushing, gasping for air sort-of fit.  It was pretty disconcerting.

But, that’s normal, right?

Normal.

Hmmm.

My day care provider just sent me home with a book about autism insisting that Silas get evaluated.

How’s that for normal?

My instinct is to throw the book back in her face and tell her to get out of my child’s head.  I just don’t see it.  He’s met all his milestones, he’s huggy and lovey and sociable, and gets along with other kids.  Sure, he gets repetitive at times.  He does run in circles at music class.  And there’s no question that he’s a sensitive kid.

But none of those things add up to autism.

Still, there’s that part of me that is second-guessing myself.  The part that has seen him “act out” at play dates.  The part that makes me wonder if I’m one of those “there’s-absolutly-nothing-wrong-with-my-kid” parents.  The type that blame the teacher for the child’s outbursts.

Still, these are the people that sent us for a $400 (after insurance) EEG because they insisted that he was having absence seizures.

His EEG came back normal.

So, the question is, do I have him evaluated just in case?  Do I sit for hours on the computer and sifting through library books to see if I see any sign?  To try to convince myself that he’s going to be somewhere on the spectrum and that he needs help?

I know the day care wants the help with him.  But, is he really that much of a handful or are they hypochondriacs?

I don’t know.

I lean toward the hypochondriac theory.

I mean in this age when so much medical information and misinformation is available at the click of a mouse everyone thinks that they’re an M.D.  While I fully support the idea that knowledge should be in the hands of the people, it isn’t always such a good thing.  It seems like everyone has a label.  I’m bipolar, Paul’s ADHD, now my son has Asperger’s.  I mean can’t people just be people.  I’m emotional, Paul’s disorganized, and Silas is a kid.  A two-year-old at that.

My sister wants me to pull him out of that day care. I want to throw my fist in the air and yell “hell yeah!”

But, I’m torn.

Sure, she texts me every Thursday to remind me to pay on Friday.  Yeah, yesterday she hinted that Paul had forgotten to feed him breakfast because he “cried and cried” for food at 10am.  (Paul had feed him.)   And, the reason that she handed me the dreaded book is because, after seeing a mom pick up one of the other kids early, he wouldn’t take a nap because he wanted to go home.  (I guess he kept saying “Daddy.  Shoes.”  Is that crazy?  Or just persistent?)

But, she’s done a lot for us.  She helped us out when Paul wasn’t working.  She’s kept him late, without notice, so that I could go to see my therapist without him listening in on all my baggage.  And, she’s always finding neat little ways to celebrate Silas’s successes.  She even dropped a get-well gift off at our house after Silas had his surgery.

And, most importantly, Silas is happy there.  Yeah, he brought home an art project for each of the seven days of Creation.  But, hey, is that going to kill him?  Surely not.  Not if he’s loved.

I don’t know how to “step into my power” as my therapist would say.  I don’t know how to insist that she drop the issue.  She even claimed that a guest was at the day care one day and asked if Silas was autistic.  I mean maybe they are seeing something that we just aren’t.

But we aren’t.  We aren’t.  We aren’t.

So, what to do?

This entry was posted on Friday, February 5th, 2010 at 5:10 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.