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New Year’s Resolution:  Instead of resolving to lose more pounds, to submit more essays, to clean more surfaces to an unhealthy shine, I am here resolving to unearth the passion and wonder and trust and love that used to flow so easily and so readily between my husband and me.  I am committing to falling back in love.
Origami Love Note #1 (written with a quill pen on a folded double heart)

My Dearest Paul,

Today I found– in the bottom of a box, in the bottom of a closet– some pictures of us from a time when we were just starting out: carefree and full of wonder.  It was during these times that we were so certain that we were meant for one another– when we walked through forests, through the street of New Orleans, through a crowded dance floor in amazement and awe that we’d actually found true love.

I thought that you were the very Universe.  When I looked in your eyes, I found God.

Will we ever find those times again?  It seems like eons since I have even looked in your eyes, swayed with my head rested on your shoulder. Will we ever be so certain and full of wonder?

I hope with this first note that we begin to discover that wonder all over again!

With much hope and love,

Emily

Oh my Lord!  It’s been over a month.

A silent 34 days.

Enough time to lose one’s precious readership…

Sadly, I stopped posting just moments after declaring that I was ready to my to “take my blog to the next level.”

Some level.

Do I smell a bout of self-defeatism?  Or, just a mere pause?  A pathetic vomitous irony? Or a long, breathless moment designed to gather my thoughts?

(A big thanks to Tata who not only took my declaration seriously but offered up her advice.  I am sorry, sorry, sorry to disappoint.  But, am still grateful, grateful, grateful for the advice.)

I wish I could commit to end the ceasefire and just blast away– one heated post after the next.

But, truth be told, I’m tired.

I could rant on and on about why I’ve been tired.  Author a novella about a sick and increasingly obstinate 14-month-old (who blatantly refuses to walk!!!).  Concoct a cast of characters that include a TV-obsessed husband, a room full of pre-adolescent psychos, and a Jehovah woman that just won’t leave well enough alone.

But, I’m past all that.  Of course I am.  And one day, I’m going to be a real writer.

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