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I cannot promise you much.

But since my husband practically man-handled me into the bedroom, forcing the lap top on me, and forbidding me to leave the room until I published something on my blog, I figured I’d try to give you something.

He sees that I’ve been starting to fray at the edges. My evenings have begun to get a little, well, hairy. There’s a lot more walking on egg shells and less-than-subtle slamming downs of dirty mugs against unkempt counters.

Therefore, I can be certain that my sequestering is less his good intention and more his proactive cross and garlic– preventing the need for any messy, albeit necessary, heart-staking. You see, when I start to really lose it, when the seams begin to completely unravel, I can be quite the irrational bitch. And no one, no one (save perhaps Sarah Palin– OW!) likes an irrational bitch.

(I really shouldn’t have said that about Mrs. Palin. Honestly. I’m feeling guilty already.)

Really though, aside from trying to keep my inner wolf at bay, my husband also wanted me writing because I received the most wonderful, reaffirming compliment about my blog today. Ms. I’m-Not-Beautiful-Like-You, http://www.imnotbeautifullikeyou.com/, named my little ramblings “the first blog she fell in love with”. For her alone (and for my forceful husband and just a touch for my sanity), I return to the keyboard.

Now, Tata, if you are reading, you must help me by sharing all the tricks of the blogging trade. I see you have acquired an advertisment. I cannot even upload a friggin’ picture! (Yeah, this is a real plea for help. Like, should we exchange email or something?)

Okay, so why have I been so quiet? I’m sure you have guessed. I am now one of those damn working mamas.

Ta-Da!

And, since I’m a perfectionist and a teacher (so, like, I consider my job to be of critical importance), the experience of returning to the work force has all but clouded out any semblance of my stay-at-home self. I am happily suffocating– except for the times when I really actually am suffocating.

(We, in the world of psychiatric medicine call those times “panic attacks”. More on that later as I am finding some interesting ways to cope. Watching the History Channel’s riveting anniversary special of their full feature film version of spliced and diced home video accounts of the 911 attacks presented in real time NOT being one of them.)

Yeah, balancing my over-achiever expectations and carving out quality time with my son have left me a mere shell of my once creative self.

Actually, that’s not true. I am very creative at work. But, that’s not the same now, is it? IS IT?!?

But regardless, here I am. Thanks to Tata and the man formerly know as HB. (Yes, that stands for my honey bunny…)

What exactly have I been up to? A quick replay ensues…
In the evenings, I spend a good deal of my time crawling around the living room floor pounding my fists against the wall and laughing and shrieking and trying to keep Silas from plowing face first into our fireplace because his favorite new game is to blind himself with his blankie and then to crawl as fast as he can into various pieces of furniture while howling like a banshee. (No kidding.)

During the day, I am either pretending a yard stick is an electric guitar while I teach prepositions during Rock n’ Roll Friday, making the kids raise the roof and say “yeah-yeah-yaaaayah” when I assign extra homework, or (and this is the honest to God truth) trying to get the girl who TIED HERSELF TO A TOILET and BOUND HER LEGS WITH A ROPE AND PADLOCK to confess that she had actually done these things to herself and was not abducted by a strange gloved man in a mask. (You got it! That’s public school!)

So, yeah, I’ve been a little busy. (And I didn’t even mention the housework or the cooking or the jogging or the socializing or the, or the, or the…)
Still, I never should have been to busy for you. You, my adoring fans.

(Oh, shucks. C’mon. Not the paparazzi!)

So, here I am in all my glory despite the invisible boogie man who has been breaking into our girls’ lockers and stealing their homework. (I’ve threatened to kick that little Casper’s worksheet-stealing behind!) (In case you didn’t get that, he’s not real. The boogie man. But, for some reason, these girls think we’re actually going to believe them…)

Yes, despite all that, I’m back in the proverbial saddle. And, committing to blogging once again!

(You can all breathe a little easier now.)

So, as usual: thank you, thank you, and no, thank YOU.

More, tomorrow?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 24th, 2008 at 9:29 pm and is filed under On Working and Writing and Mothering and .... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.