On Priorities
Last week, a very dear friend of mine received some shocking news. Her parent’s home had burned to the ground. It had exploded. In the middle of the day. Something to do with a random bolt of lightning and an underground gas line. The flames taking everything, including their pets. Thank God, no one was hurt.
When I called to check in with them, to offer my condolences, to see if they needed anything, I had prepared myself for a long, detailed story. A sad but necessary rehashing of events. A plea for support, maybe. Or, at worst, a breakdown.
Instead, when I asked my friend how her family was doing, she quickly stated: you know, Em, actually, we couldn’t be better.
Of course, I sniffed around for the hint of falseness that would let me know that she was just trying to sound like everything was under control. Left open the space for her to retract her statement in an outburst of tears. There was a brief pause.
No, really, she said, we’re just great.
I must admit I felt a little empty. Where were all the gory details? The tears? The anger? The confessions about how stressed she might be having her family in her home? Or even the admission that she was pissed that she had loaned her mother her favorite sweater before the shit hit the fan?
There was none of that. And, she wasn’t faking me out. She was serious. They had decided that the things they lost were only things. They had mourned their pets, but were happy that they didn’t suffer. They had already found a new home that they felt suited them and were just waiting for the insurance settlement. Did I mention that only three days had passed since the fire? Did I also mention that her father had just come out on the winning side of a not-so-pleasant battle with cancer?
You may be thinking that this family is just living it up in the land of denial. But, I don’t believe that’s true.
Now, I could try and sell you on the fact that these people are the sort-of well-grounded, living-in-the-present, read the works of the Dalai Lama and actually apply them sort-of freaks that try to make the rest of us feel like shit.
It’s not that either. They are just thankful. Thankful to be alive and to recognize that at any moment of any day our situation– including our mortality– could quickly and drastically change.
And, here I was having a panic attack about my dishes.
Every now and then, we are reminded to get our shit together and prioritize.
I consider that phone call one of my reminders.
